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09:01 am
8/14/10

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[info]painpillar
Yes, still stuck on that.
Charlie is one million times better than any edward cullen, could ever hope to be.

the only difference to the two, is i can actually put a face, to edward cullen.
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10:59 pm
2/19/10

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[info]painpillar
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I've missed you, truly.

                             Truly.
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01:23 pm
1/25/10

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[info]painpillar
A flash from the past.

According to my journal, I have not posted something in 60 weeks.

I feel as a person i have changed greatly, even sometimes to the extent that there is no past for me.
Its a sad thought, but really --entertaining it becomes more and more real.

I guess when you become an adult the objective is to forget everything, stop smiling and relaxing,
and get to work. Dont goof off, its immature. Dont sleep in, Its irresponsible. Dont waste time on leizure.
Its lazy. Dont prioritize social events at the top of your living pyramid. Its adolescent.

Instead put productivity at the top of the list, push push push. Get a car and a job, those two things spell absolute self awareness. and dont spend your money on things like outings or clothing or toys, as a matter of fact dont spend it at all- save it up and get yourself an apartment, begin adult cycle. have babies, get married, die.

I miss the swingset and the rain drops I miss the distant yelling of my mother to get inside before it storms real bad, and the option to ignore it and get soaked.

I miss the feeling of the rain pouring out on my skin, such an amazing feeling.
The sound of thunder shaking my heart, filling me with fear and excitement.
Lightning pushing me further into the rain.

I miss the people who knew me as that girl. And for their sake i wish i was her again.

Careless enough to jump into creeks with no excuse. Clothes still on.
Careless enough to sing out in the rain, forget who was watching.
Careless enough to have people fall in love, but not know or care what it meant, yet still remain friends with them.

I feel depressed today. Like i dont exist. Like everything i do is for no true reason.

I want to have my adulthood already so im not stuck in limbo.

Because no one likes it when it rains , and you cant go outside to play.




 
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02:06 pm
9/26/08

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[info]painpillar
is it logiX
Is it possible to truly love another, when they do not love you back.
I used to think that only meant to be, would be the mutual love and respect.
that if a person fell head over heels ln love with you and they truly loved you, it would work out
but what if i had this whole thing all wrong, and my heart will always belong to someone who may never even
take a second glance at me.
is it possible that we will always be searching for that person, and one day wake up old and wrinkled and regret waiting?
idk.
but im not about to give up. i will quietly hope that im right.

xx
christy
 
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01:10 pm
4/20/08

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[info]painpillar
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all the faith we have in men, neither high nor low, is much better broken like an image in an mirror. because in the end. All we will have left is peices of ourselves, strewn across the floor. unable to reassemble the world we knew before.

- limezap.
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10:00 pm
2/27/08

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[info]painpillar
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dreams will never die, and even when the sky cries- we will know the memories hold something to be told. and that gives us hope, yeah it helps us to cope. so hold your head high, cuz memories never die
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12:16 pm
12/31/07

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[info]painpillar
strange entry.
Perfectly beautiful people get murdered every day. 
People who are sweet, kind...innocent. and undeserving. It's not what you always see in the films. The meany gets what they deserve. Some people just do it because they felt like it. There are truly insane people out there. 

Insanity can be found in the most unsuspecting individual. We do things in our daily routine that are borderline insane. The problem is when you cross that border in your daily routine.  My mother talks to herself when she's looking for something. My dad bites his fingertips around the nail when he's frustrated. I freak when I lose something. 

My dads insane. I won't get into that. he just is.

It's all normal in our eyes...but when we step over the boundary... we would be yelling and replying to ourselves. biting the nails till they bleed and I would probably... throw things in my rant.

Completely ugly people can fall in love. Short ones, tall ones, fat ones, skinny ones... 

Beautiful people can be the most tainted as well.  Looks are the most decieving peices of shit we ever ate for breakfast. 

Scuze my American language. 

Nother issueeee... Love. Who are we to say we know what it is????

We can't say we know what it is.

Here's a small thing I wrote... I think its adorable.
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06:11 am
12/18/07

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[info]painpillar
The drawn out list
I was so excited because when i woke up this morning and checked my e-mail.....

I had 1 unread message. 



So excited...I neglected to realize It was an advertisement for a penis enlargement.

Last time I checked- I don't have one to enlarge. So why do they keep sending me these adds? 
"Dear Friend/consumer..."

Hahaa! I'm either a friend or a consumer, which one is it?

"We have formulated a new product for you to try!"


Oh noes.

"Yes, you and many other happy customers..."

Happy??? You mean... penis happy?

"Have found satisfaction.."

Here comes the dookie.

"In the size of their penis."




D'OH. *whacks head with crowbar*



.............P4wn3d. I didn't know I didn't know!!!

I swear God just gets pissed at me sometimes so he send little things like that to make him feel better about not punishing me.


"Aww, hahaa... she's so stupid. I'll give her mercy."

 Nah, I'm kinda just playing. God rocks my socks.

----
Today i'm having my friend jake dye my hair. The yellows gonna be white. nothing really new.
And I bought this awesome shampooo... ---whisper--- [and it works!!!] 


It made my hair look SEXY! wooo. lol. 

Debate today on the death penalty. Challenge me I dare you! We all have so much stuff on this thing- I hope we do good. 
Because we really know our stuff now.


My stomach hurts. I think I'm going to have an apple. Maybe that'll help. =]

haha. oh wellz. this was random people. Go enlarge yourselves..
and have a great day.
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04:46 pm
12/16/07

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[info]painpillar
whatever happened to the random button?
Do you guys ever wonder what happened to the random LJ user button?

I miss it, yo!
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10:52 am
12/5/07

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[info]painpillar
Bah humbug.
I don't really like X-mas. And I miss the way things were before charlie. I'm over it, but I miss hanging out with everyone of my friends
and just having a good ol time.

The realization that it's just going to get lonlier and lonelier the older i get just keeps hitting me. and although i'm fine with it- i wish it wasn't the case.

in the long run true friends are hard to find. I don't know many people i could just call and pick up where i left off. it's not like i've taken the effort of keeping in contact, but it's not like they have either....

i guess we're both to blame.

Xmas reminds me of how different things are.

God. I hate christmas. 

( PO-EM. )
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